RJ Life - Half Truth Half Lies : You Decide !!

IF you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you,
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,
But make allowance for their doubting too. …………………… (IF by Rudyard Kipling)


“Lights, Camera and Action”, my world is analogous to this-almost .I can’t be seen but I can be heard. In my case, it’s “Ready, Steady and Go” (usually indicated by thumbs up in the background). A thin transparent glass separates me and my technical assistant.


I am inside a cubicle along with a microphone, headphones and a chair – to my relief there is an AC as well. The room is all mine for the next hour. What I speak, the whole world gets a piece of it (literally); it’s aired online as well. My voice is audible to some audience who are frantically searching among the thirty odd FM stations in Kathmandu while they figure out which one best suits their interest. I don’t get paid for my hour of stardom, for the research and hard work I put in for the show. Nobody bothers how I manage to reach the station when I am stuck in a traffic jam or return home walking as one can’t expect to hire a public transport at midnight. Only because my recording sessions are postponed in favor of the paid employees as they get to have their say first .Welcome, to my asymmetrical world- the real world.


I am categorized as a second class, for not having a link to the inner circle. Therefore, I am required to remain an amateur. Yet, I am content and do not complain. At least I get to do what I am passionate about. But it hurts when you are hired on trial basis after being selected from a pool of hundred people by a series of interviews (which were not on trial basis). Apart from the creative freedom, I get nothing. But still, I am satisfied. My rendezvous with the real world doesn’t end here; it begins.


In my job place, jealousy and competition force some people to act in biased ways. And then there is the usual battle against the adamant attempts in dislodging me only because I get more fan mails, enquiries and more air play as well. One unruly scandal is always on the cards and obviously the blame somehow finds a way to reach me. I am in dire straits. It’s a tough world and ground realities are hard to digest.


My punishment is that I don’t get any live shows because the program manager needs to impress his pretty girlfriend and she’s doing the live shows from now onwards. Her credentials and talents you might enquire. But, “Do they really matter?”, “Don’t you get it?” This is how the inner circle works.



You might be wondering why I still choose to remain in this loophole, humiliated every day. I am helpless at times but I don’t see any reason to give up. Some fights are meant to be fought and I am not leaving till I triumph over this prejudice. Yes! It’s distressing yet it’s enthralling to derive inspiration from the love of what I enjoy doing.

Sumit Dugar